People who are considering a divorce may have been in this painful thought process for at a minimum of two years and many times, much longer. The decision to divorce is a daunting one and can be all-consuming and downright frightening. This is because divorce is very much like experiencing death. It is the ending of a life you have known and the final ending of a relationship you once treasured.
If you are a man, your primary focus will be on your rights to your children and preserving your estate. If you are a woman and you do not work outside the home, your greatest fear will be the loss of your security and how you will be able to manage to take care of yourself and your children without the primary breadwinner. Now you have to go through the process of choosing a divorce lawyer.
Once you have made the decision to divorce the first thing you must remember is to avoid rushing into choosing a divorce lawyer. The decision to divorce took time. Likewise, you should take your time choosing the right divorce lawyer, or you may lose the very things you need for survival once the divorce is over. Below are four things to consider before choosing a divorce attorney.
1.Can We Communicate? The ability for your attorney to understand what you want versus what you need and his ability to communicate the process of divorce and the steps toward the best settlement for all parties concerned is critical to successful outcomes and to your emotional well-being. Make sure that you and your attorney have the chemistry necessary to avoid misunderstandings. The best way to ensure this is to interview three or four different divorce attorneys before choosing a divorce lawyer.
2.A Bulldog or a Poodle? There are different reasons for choosing a divorce attorney who is more of a fighter than a pacifist. But remember, bulldogs cost more money in the long run and may lengthen an already painful experience. Remember to consider the costs of fighting versus making concessions because the longer you fight, the more money your attorney gets. And that means less for you and for your children.
3. What is the Goal? This is most often overlooked part of the divorce lawyer/client relationship. Remembering that your first goal is to get a divorce and not to torment the other party is critical to your future happiness and to the happiness of your children. Choosing a divorce lawyer who understands you do not wish to prolong the pain, and who will respect that wish, will save you time and money in the long run. Your goal should be to speed up the process for a fair and equitable settlement. Keep your eye on the prize and convey this to your attorney for a speedier, more cost-effective process.
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